Bad Days

Somehow, yesterday ended up being a pretty bad day. It started off wonderfully. I woke up early and was able to go to yoga. I was feeling pretty great. I went through my day and everything was going well. And then it happened, for the 1000th time. Mikes work schedule changed and wasn't able to come home until an unreasonable hour and then all of the anger just came out of me. It's funny to see as I write how silly it sounds to be angry that your husband came home late. But, this has been quite the build up of issues.

When I first got married, I never thought of issues. In fact, I didn't know much of what it meant to be a military spouse. I don't have any family members in the military. I didn't think of all the little things it would mean.

Like being away from my family at all times, moving constantly, feeling like I am always on vacation, not being able to settle into a house, the thought of him being on a boat for 6 months, missing friends, living in small towns, feeling lonely, and not having a schedule. 

I miss my family so much. It is so true that you don't know what you got until it is gone. Until I moved across the country, I didn't realize what an important part my family plays in my life. Although, we might all be a little crazy. Nothing else compares to being with them. 

I hate that Mike doesn't know his schedule until the night before. It is so hard to plan things when you don't know what time he has to be to work or when he will be finished. I cannot tell you how many times I have made dinner (expecting him home) and then don't see him until past 10PM. 

When Mike finally got home yesterday, he could tell I wasn't super happy. I had made the goal to be pleasant and not let him know I was feeling angry/down. This is our situation and him coming home to a grumpy wife is probably not very pleasant. Since he is gone so much, I try and savor every moment I see him. I want him to feel happy and excited to come home to me. Not dreadful that I am going to complain all night. So, I was determined to put on a happy face. As soon as he came home, I gave him a few kisses and we sat down for dinner. After dinner, I decided to get on my computer and vegetate. Mike had a bunch of work to do and went back to his computer to study. He has a lot more work to do then he has time for when he gets home so, I usually don't hear much from him once he starts. After a few minutes on my computer, Mike came back to me and asked me if we could do a family home evening. I was a little annoyed. You know how when you feel bad for yourself, actually doing something productive sounds awful? I agreed, but sat there thinking, "I can't wait until this is over". We sang a song and Mike read a few passages from the bible and book of Mormon. By the end of family home evening, I felt so much better. It was like all of my anger just disappeared. I love that my husband knows exactly what I need to put my mind at ease and what a great spiritual leader he is for me. 

Although, life might be hard at times, I know I married the right match. I am so very thankful for him. 

Us in Nashville